Part Two of todays multi-part, feature-length, ramblings

I forgot the physical sensations of depression...I have been more or less just empty so long, but today I feel really, physically, depressed, like I have done on occasion when I was younger. I respond to to mentally, differently than when I was younger, but the actual sensations are overwhelming, and very physical, even as I take a more or less distant-cold-sober-empty position vis a vis the physicality of it ... maybe just extremely tired after getting up so early, and being reminded, by other people's GOOD luck, just how bad luck I have endured for most of my 55 years...not complaining, explaining... another part is waiting on my external HDD to upload later today if I manage to get myself motivated enough...as you will hear in the video, I am having digestion problems too... and I apologize for that !!! I managed to find a screenshot of me smiling, just to remind you I do NOT want to bring anyone down... we all face tough times, and because we are aware of what is going on, it is even tougher, than for those how are more or less 'blissfully' ignorant...I finally got this jacket back from the owner of the flat I was helping renovate, in return for no rent...but it is falling apart, like me I guess...I think it is the only expensive item of clothing I ever bought (expensive for me that is) and it has so many pockets...I have slept in it for 20 years, in my car, homeless on the Streets of Tallinn, in homeless shelters in Germany...just the perfect soft and tough material (as I aspire to be myself!) with pockets everywhere, for hiding stuff, but keeping it accessible...